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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27869473">I'll Tell You My Sins</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenaughtypixie/pseuds/thenaughtypixie'>thenaughtypixie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Miracle is the best and deserves everything, Miracle the dog, Post-Episode: s15e19 Inherit the Earth, Protective Dean Winchester, Sibling Incest, Soft Dean Winchester, Soft Sam Winchester, Wincest - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:39:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,903</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27869473</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenaughtypixie/pseuds/thenaughtypixie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Demons know your secrets.  And this one knows what Dean has tried to hide for so long.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>211</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I'll Tell You My Sins</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“It's just a small crime, right Dean? That's what you tell yourself?” The demon smiled easily through the pain, it enjoyed the look on Dean's face, how all his inside fears and fantasies had immediately taken residence where his skin lay. Exposed.</p><p>Sam, stood beside Dean, stopped throwing the holy water and glanced towards his brother, frowning.</p><p>The demon, tied up and ensnared by the hidden devils trap, continued on in glee. “How many nights has it been Dean? That you've laid awake thinking about it, gnawing at you, this crime? This <em>infection</em> in you?”</p><p>“You shut your mouth!” Dean yelled, “Sammy, keep going,” he gently urged his brother to continue reciting the exorcism. A beat, and Sam practically spat the words at the demon.</p><p>Dean stood there helpless, wishing they had never come here, that this stupid case had turned so awry. This demon could undo everything that mattered to him.</p><p>Struggling more in the chair now, visibly distressed, the demon still managed to choke out words through a bloody mouth, “You never told him, he'd think you're sick!” It laughed, pointedly at Dean and then it turned towards Sam who looked even more determined to vanquish it.</p><p>“All the things your brother keeps inside that head of his, in dark corners he thought would never be found. His sins.”</p><p>Dean swallowed hard, so afraid that the dark secret he held would come pouring out.</p><p>“I know his sins”, said Sam with confidence, “And he knows mine.” Sam glared at the demon who stayed silent for a moment until he smiled eerily and spluttered out, “But not this si-” and suddenly Dean punched the sonofabitch square in the face, he'd be damned if he let it say anything else. He was already worrying about the inevitable conversation with Sam later when this bullshit was over.</p><p>Sam had almost reached the last words of the exorcism, the empty flask of holy water thrown aside. He wanted this over.</p><p>“I've...got nothing...to lose”, the demon heaved out and as it regarded the brothers one last time, it mumbled, “The things... he thinks about...are all...are all you Sam...” then with a scream, a tower of black smoke left the host, went back to Hell, happy in the fun it had in messing with the Winchesters and knowing that itch was placed. And Sam would scratch and scratch at it until Dean fell apart.</p><p>Demons lie. But they told the truth when they knew it would get to someone. And man, it had gotten to Dean. Going back to Hell was worth the look on his face.</p><p>But something the demon could not find was the small dark corner in Sam's heart where he kept a box without a key. A sin. A small crime. Sam looked towards Dean as he headed out the door of the abandoned property and wondered which one of them would confess first, if at all. If ever.</p><p>To Dean's relief, the drive so far had been uneventful. AC/DC blared through the radio, Dean sporadically tapping the steering wheel of baby as Sam smiled softly at him.</p><p>“Hey Dean,” he started quietly and Dean's heart thumped but he pretended he couldn't hear Sam over the music. Sam, momentarily annoyed, turned the volume right down, “Look man, this is important. I need to know what that demon meant, what your last sin was. It's just us now right? And it's great y'know, this past year just hunting when we want, no grand scheme using us. It's our choice now. But we're way past secrets man. This is our fresh slate.”</p><p>Dean kept his eyes fixed ahead almost wishing the bunker was 100 miles away so he had an excuse to just pull over into some crappy bar and get wasted so Sam would be too frustrated to try and talk. But there was the bunker. Their second home. And there would be no escaping this.</p><p>“So what, you're just not gonna tell me?” Sam slammed his bag on the floor as he followed Dean inside the bunker and Dean went to get some beers. “Sammy, I'm tired alright? I just wanna put my feet up and catch some bad movies.”</p><p>Miracle came rushing in to greet them and Dean beamed at him before Miracle ran to Sam who knelt awkwardly to him and fussed and cooed over him.</p><p>“What?” Sam looked over his shoulder as he had heard the groan from Dean and Dean rolled his eyes at the spectacle.</p><p>The brothers sat awkwardly on Dean's bed, food wrappers everywhere, a bad box-set of a HBO series playing and they clinked their second beers together.</p><p>Sam had let up for a while, but his own secret, that box in the darkened corner was clawing away at him. Dean was the key. Either Sam waited for Dean to open up or he risked everything himself. Neither option appealed because it threatened the only thing left to him in this world.</p><p>Both stared at the TV not really taking anything in because their minds were a whirlwind. Sam gulped and said sincerely, “You're my person, Dean. You're my only person.”</p><p>Dean almost retorted, almost laughed, almost choked on his beer but he did none of these things. He stayed silent. His heart began thudding hard. Times like this just made that fire burn when he longed for something to quench it. But in 15 years he had never found it. Instead just added kindling until he arrived at this moment... where he was hanging on the edge of confessing to Sam and certainly losing him once he had done so.</p><p>For a horrifying second, Dean thought Sam would suddenly break out that sunshine smile of his, crack up at how easily he got to Dean and say through laughter, “You should see your face man! No chick flick moments huh?!” And Dean would know for sure they would never have a chance for the conversation again.</p><p>But for Sammy, Dean would gladly remain silent and keep that last sin buried deep where no sunlight would ever see it. How could he risk this? The guilt was already eating away at him just from thoughts alone. He had to make Sam understand that them here, now, was everything to Dean, and he was grateful, so grateful for him. Dean pushed those dark desires to the corner, he loved Sam more than he wanted them ever to see the light.</p><p>“Everything we've been through...you're it for me. You're my constant and I don't ever wanna lose that.” Dean's words broke the silence. “I don't ever wanna lose you.”</p><p>“You're not gonna lose me, Dean. Not ever.”</p><p>Sam held his gaze, and smiled gently before turning his head to the TV again. Dean was relieved.</p><p>It was unfathomable what they shared. Nothing on Earth could beat that. But...he wanted Sam... in those dark corners, he wanted him, though he also desired to protect him, to not risk one second of what they already had. Because it was enough. Dean convinced himself it was enough.</p><p>He'd tell him. Finally say those words. Words that came too easily and quickly for most humans. Dean would say them, and mean them with every fibre of him. And be at peace.</p><p>“Sam-” he started softly but Sam interrupted. “It's not sick, Dean. You're...not sick.” He looked towards Dean then.</p><p>The words hung in the air for what felt like years. Sam slowly went to rest his head on Dean's shoulder. He sighed, and continued to face the TV. Dean looked down at him, his brother, his person, his world.</p><p>Living together in the bunker this past year had been the happiest time of their lives. They realised separately, that all they ever needed was each other. As long as they were together, that's all that mattered. All that ever mattered.</p><p>And they had time now, with no angels, no being pieces on a game-board for Gods. And that 'thing between them' just became more present, more intense as they realised and accepted that they were it for each other. But neither vocalised it. Until...</p><p>“I know...” Sam said quietly. “I already know. Because we share it. That sin.”</p><p>Dean was hopelessly lost for words and as they both sat there, eyes fixed to the TV, Dean slowly moved his hand towards where Sam's lay on his ridiculous long legs, and placed it gently over his. He rubbed his thumb softly back and forth. They sat there awhile, a whole fireworks display going off inside them, though neither uttered a word for a while nor moved an inch.</p><p>They had not looked at each other in a while but slowly Sam sat up straight, took his head from Dean's shoulder and faced him. He placed a hand to Dean's cheek, who closed his eyes to the warm, calloused touch and breathed in unsteadily.</p><p>Leaning their heads towards each other, Dean whispered, “Just us. It's just us.” Fear, relief and longing drained out in tears from them both. Dean knew in his heart it had to be Sam's choice. He would not jump off the cliff first. They looked at one another for the longest moment before Sam tentatively placed his soft lips against Dean's for a chaste kiss.</p><p>The world stopped. The world burned.</p><p>They broke apart at once from shock and desire and the fire raging inside Dean threatened to choke him. It was simple need that collapsed them into their second kiss. Their third. Barely breathing.</p><p>The demon was probably losing some bet right now. Scornfully mocking the Winchesters stupid all consuming love for each other that was never enough...<em>hands on each other</em>...they could never just let it be...<em>kisses in the dark</em>...they would ruin the world to save this love...<em>all the wrongful rights</em>...</p><p>“We're good people-” Sam whispered, kissing Dean more desperately now, Dean gasping “Sam” in-between kisses.</p><p>Dean started to stroke his hand through the back of Sam's hair, repeating their mantra between breaths, “We're good people, Sammy-” as Sam fumbled removing his T-Shirt whilst barely detaching himself from the kisses that were just growing in intensity.</p><p>They were free. Falling together.</p><p>Dean echoed Sam in taking his top off as Sam clung to Dean, his own hand mirroring Dean's touch in his hair.</p><p><em>It's just a small crime</em> they heard the demon's voice mock but they ignored it.</p><p>“It's just us” they whispered in unison, a defence, wanting more.</p><p>“I need you-” hazy and heady, they kissed hard, messily, passionate,”...closer Sam”, Dean confessed and therein was their sin. Their small crime. No victims. No sentence. No judgement within these walls. As long as it remained <em>Just us,</em> their small crime would go unpunished, their sin needed no repent.</p><p>Their mantra repeated <em>We're good people.</em> Aching kisses. <em>We're good people.</em> Touches that burned. <em>We're good people.</em> Jumping off the cliff. <em>We're... good... people.</em></p><p>The key was turned. The sins hidden in the shadows of their hearts were freed. Like them. The fire that burned within Dean was out of control; the box in Sam's heart opened and unlike Pandora's the only things freed from it were guilt and longing and secrets held far too long.</p><p>And they shuddered and moved and broke and made themselves whole with each other. Closer. <em>I need you so much closer.</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This idea came to me during a boring shift at work and I just haven't been able to shake it so here we are.  I wanted to explore the dark places in Dean and Sam's minds, what they tried to keep hidden and what would happen if these secrets got exposed, how would they face it? Okay so I never thought I would write a Wincest fic  (because I see their love as indefinable, like a mixture of many of the Greek meanings of love, right up to Agape and their bond is certainly more than brothers and that all encompassing love is truly beautiful to me and why I love the Winchesters SO. DAMN. MUCH. And I'll probably write more about their platonic canon epic love story as I need more domestic!Winchesters and SharedHeaven Winchesters) However, I thought it would be interesting to explore what could happen if they had romantic desire mixed in with everything else too.  So please accept this offering. This is purely written for enjoyment, all mistakes are mine. Peace &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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